APCG performance today (: Strings (as in the people) were awesome today, as usual, and I felt that we did pretty well without ms ku, even though I rushed, oops >< Our performance was very enjoyable for me cos there wasn't the pressure of concert and we could just play as we like, and just be ourselves (: I think my transformation when I'm on stage, and when I'm just being a normal person off-stage, is amazing. Today, when we were playing Britten's sentimental sarabande, it just felt that i was in my element. Surprisingly, it makes such a great difference to just close my eyes, and listen to the ensemble for once, to the different sections and how our different timbres blend together so nicely. I only wish I had done that more often, and earlier =(

After APCG, I went to school with rach and shanin, and zoomed around blablabla fast forward...then we went to taka (: I was telling them how concert didn't really feel like closure to me, but today did, like I felt a sense of finality. (That's why when I saw the apcg email i was like !!! yay i knew we would play as an ensem again :D) I was being indecisive as usual but after dilly-dallying for quite a while we went to macs. I was sitting facing the both of them, and I realised that I still couldn't bring myself to accept that they are graduating soon... like even though I don't feel the absence yet, I know eventually I will. & it takes me quite long to get over such stuff, just like it takes me a period of time to learn to trust someone. Sighh i'm not making much sense, heh. I just feel this sense of serenity, this sense of equilibrium now and yeah. I feel an urge to end this post here, shall end with song lyrics:

From The Call by Regina Spektor, in Narnia:

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

<3, always.